What Every Dad Should Know About Their Daughter

| January 24, 2012 | Comments (254)

 

Last week I was dropping my daughter off for a birthday party.  As I was leaving a man stopped me asking for direction.  He was standing with one of my daughter’s school friends.  Immediately recognizing her I put my hand out and introduced myself explaining that our daughters sit together at lunch often.  His reaction was sarcastic as he gave his daughter a side-ways glance.  I didn’t fully catch what he said but whatever it was it didn’t honor his daughter in any way.  Looking at her I could tell this was not abnormal behavior.

I’ll be honest… I wanted to punch him.

It’s challenging to articulate the influence a father has on a little girl.  How much of his attitude and actions toward her can determine her future relationships.  I remember how much stock I placed in what my dad thought of me.  I remember how much I wanted him to be proud of me.  To affirm me.  To show me my value.

I remember how he would brag about me on the sidelines of the soccer field.

How he would tell me I’m beautiful.

How he would hug me so hard I couldn’t breath.

How often he reminded me as a teenager, “Never date a boy you wouldn’t marry.”
(What a way to narrow the playing field!)

Dad’s, don’t lose sight of the impact you have today on your daughter’s future.  Here are three things I encourage you to focus on:

Affirm Her

She looks to you for affirmation, encouragement, & guidance.  As she grows through puberty (ESPECIALLY, as she grows through puberty), she needs your voice reminding her that she is beautiful, valuable and worthy of love.  If she can learn to believe you, then she’ll believe her future husband when he tells her the same things.

Set the Standard

Be the husband you want her to have one day.  Enough said.  Is it difficult?  Yes.  Does it mean sacrifice?  Yes.  Is it worth it?  Yes.  I watch my husband daily making changes to be a better husband and dad.  He’s amazing.  He demonstrates for our daughter the kind of man he wants her to marry one day.

Talk About the Standard

Talk about the future.  As you “Imagine the End” and think about the man you hope she marries… talk about it!  Let her know what you expect.  Set the bar.  She’ll do everything she can to jump over it.

Let me level with you, dad.  The more you affirm her today, the less she’ll seek affirmation in some teenage boy later.

 

Category: fpKids - Birth to Preschool, fpKids - Elementary

This post was written by Gina McClain: View author profile.

Short url: http://fpchur.ch/vh

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=778824126 Stacy Ryckewaert

    I think society already places such on looks that If fathers tell there daughters they are beautiful it doesnt mean body it means they THEMSELVES are beautiful. If you are stating our sons shouldn’t have the same I think you are wrong we should tell our sons they are amazing and strong and they shouldnt waiste time on gals they are not going to marry why not ???? I dont think this is just intended for our daughters but our children.
    Stacy mom to boys and a girl :-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Barbara-Thomas/100002599705185 Barbara Thomas

    guest1117 maybe you should read all of the good book, of course you are to love everyone. i think you will change your mind. not like me to make comments, but we must not believe every thing society tries to make us believe,   read it for yourself!

  • http://twitter.com/jabberfrog ginamcclain

    That’s hysterical!!  

  • Gay Lynn Allen

    I want to be more polite than this was.  Just out of curiosity since you stated you did not fully hear him could the daughter infact have said something you did not catch or do something you did not catch as many of us parents give “the look” for our children to know enough is enough thats not appropriate, could she have just told him she did not know you and then you stated you did so many senerios to not judge so harsh.  How can anyone assume the love he has for her or judge off this .  Sometimes God gives us something that is for us not them maybe the actual story here is judging another parent without knowing.  And to say you wanted to punch him wow!  a bit strong especially over something you state you did not fully gather.  This test could be how you reacted, how you interpreted or forgive or even judge.  Social Media can be damaging and used to do quick teaching without editing.  This is a Christian site right?.

  • Anonymous

    Brian and YourGrandma I agree with you 100%.  We are to love everyone no matter what they believe.  I struggle with God’s word saying you shouldn’t be gay and then knowing some people that I respect greatly, as believers, struggle with this issue.  I cannot offer a pat answer other than acknowledge it is their issue and pray for them if they ask. 

    I am not saying anything about my feelings as it isn’t my struggle.  I do believe Paul left the affliction he mentioned unstated for a reason.  I believe all of usvhave things we struggle with that are considered sin. 

    Like Brian said.  Until I get advice from God to do otherwise I will “Love thy neighbor as thyself”.   I would say to a group of gays “Believe on Jesus Christ and you shall be saved.”  

    Jesus never required people to change before becoming a Christian but he does require a change no matter what that may be after becoming a Christian.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ONHEUQHTU2CMBLC2MRMY3LNVCM Pamela

    Please stay on the original topic people!   Everyone, not just children, needs affirmation and loving encouragement.  If we all were kind and supportive of those around us the world would be a better place!

  • Anonymous

    I totally agree with you.  Love is a choice.  Being gay is a choice as is being heterosexual.  We all have agency people!  It’s what you do with it that counts.  Personally, I do feel like you can love someone without loving what their sin is.  Yes, we all sin but sins of a sexual nature are far worse than other sins.  Sex is something sacred, it brings life to this world (when done right!).  Nobody is hating anyone here and for people to say that we are because we call a sin a sin, well maybe they are the ones who are judging.

    By the way, there are no yellow or red people.  Nor blue or purple for that matter. (See below) Also, skin color is not a choice.  You don’t decide to get a different color. If you are a practicing gay or lesbian you decide to commit the sin, noboby forces you to have sex in that way.

    If you are gay or lesbian and you can’t change the way you feel than I believe it is the “thorn in your side” you don’t have to commit the sin outwardly.

    Also, yourgrandma2, God loves each of us without judgement?  Where do you get that from.  God loves us, yes.  He deffinitely judges us also.  Why else would we need to repent and why else would he have sent a Savior for us?

  • Anonymous

    agree with buzzardmom, it takes so much more faith to be an atheist than a Christian.  Richard Dawkins when finally pressed could only come up with “aliens seeded the planet”, from the documentary Expelled.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/JMI3QEVRPX2FHHRYWESX2NYGJQ None

    Jesus was just a man..not the “son of god”. The Bible is just a book written by a bunch of men…not the “word of god”.  Your welcome!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ashroys Ashley Royster

    I think this article is great!  Why are there so many Debbie downers on here commenting rude things which are completely off topic!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Deanna-Scofield/1043436134 Deanna Scofield

    Jacob,

    Did you know YOU are talked about specifically in the bible?  You are mentioned by name. And not the name Jacob.  Read Psalm 14:1.

    The time is coming soon for Christ’s return. I pray you learn the truth before that time.

    And if you don’t and are still alive when the rapture happens (when Christ takes to heaven all those who believe in Him and follow Him, in action and deed, obeying His Word, NOT just attending church or giving “lip-service” to Him), I hope you will read Revelation and see it was predicted. Don’t believe the lies you will hear trying to explain the disappearance of the people all around the world. It will have been Christ rapturing His church and you and the non-believers will be left behind. Ask Him at that time to open your eyes to the truth.

    He is real. He loves you. And He wants you in His kingdom. But you must first trust and believe in Him.

    Don’t just give lip service to what you hear and want to believe. If you really REALLY want to know the truth, read the bible and read it with an OPEN mind asking God to reveal Himself to you if He is real. And He will. Jeremiah 29:11-14 

    Don’t just accept that He is not – find out for yourself if He is. He wants to shower you with His love and reveal Himself to you. But you have to ask. He doesn’t go where He is not wanted.  Don’t be afraid to find out the truth. What have you got to lose? Your soul for eternity in hell if you are wrong – nothing if you are right. 

    Please, all you have to do is ask Him for the truth.  I pray you will. Because I would love to see you in heaven one day too!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/P5CGC2NAT3KF2WH47JHHJWD524 Ashleigh

    i love how it started out about a article dads making a diffrence in their daughters life and some how got warped into a argument on beliefs on god and sin is a choice is it not a choice if your gay personally i think all you “christians” who judge and say how wrong it is to be gay or quote bible versus and blah blah blah are not showing a good example of gods love i was raised in a very stricked christian home and even though they dont think homosexuality is right they dont condemn or judge and as i am  a bi sexual woman and not a christian my parents still love and except me no matter what and i think thats what should be important not ur beliefs or what u think is a sin or whatever as a parent u should love and accept ur children no matter what u might not agree with what they do or who their with but if u show them that u love them no matter what and not judge them and raised them to be a good person and treat everyone no matter what with respect and love because how can we expect are children to be a good parent or and wife or husband if we dont lead by example

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think they have the same Bible as I do because in my Bible Gods HOLLY WORD says it is not right and if that’s what you teach your child to live by then they want be gay!!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/6IMEB6PY3FGJ4M67QOS2FDKUTU Buggaboo

    I’m always telling my sons that they are becoming such wonderful young men. Yes I tell them how “cute” or “handsome” they are all the time. I let them know how proud I am of them, how smart they are. I confirm on things that they do right and/or well. I make their mistakes a learning tool on how they can make it better and hope they follow.

    I will tell them never to settle for a girl who makes them feel any less, for sure.

    No, I don’t believe that girls and boys need different things where parental love is concerned. They all have beating hearts and a brain. The only thing different is the gender. Boys need constant assurance as well as girls or they can grow up with low self esteem just the same.

    Love your kids. Encourage them. Lift them up when they fall. (even when they don’t fall!) Be their biggest fan! Whether they are girls OR boys.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1519277518 Tina Sergent Seward

    AMetts77, tell that to a friend of mine who is a wonderful Christian woman, who taught her sons the word of God, and who has a son that is gay. I fail to see what she has done wrong. She and her husband did everything right as far as I know. I am proud of them for how they have treated their son . . . they have kept the lines of communication open with their son, while refusing to condone his sin. 

  • Anonymous

    I feel the same. I lost my daddy when I was 11 and searched for affirmation everyday in the wrong places, so my husband and I make sure our kids know we love them and tell them with God everyday is a blessing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Paul-Ward/635768428 Paul Ward

    Boys need different things from their father and not dating a girl that you would not marry would not be the worse thing that could happen

  • Anonymous

    The hypocrisy is that in a loving religion such as Christianity, that guest claimed he has “no respect” for people who are gay. Did you know that the Catholic Church even accepts that homosexuality isn’t a choice, and commands people to love people who are gay? Homosexuality is far from a choice and if you raise a child with them knowing “if you’re gay I won’t respect you”, and then they start to feel attracted towards the same sex, you’ll have surely destroyed them worse than you could have possibly imagined.

  • Anonymous

    I wish the article has specified though. It’s all very well and good to say that beautiful doesn’t have to mean physical attractiveness (and very true as well), but when you’re telling a young woman “you’re beautiful, you’re so beautiful, be confident because you’re beautiful”, there’s no doubt she’s thinking of her appearance and not her inner beauty.

  • Anonymous

    But thinking of it in that logical way “I should believe in God because I have nothing to lose and I might go to Heaven” isn’t true belief, so it doesn’t help much, lol. It’s just a logical decision that isn’t backed up by any real spiritual belief.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lois-Tucker/100003261744656 Lois Tucker

    I don’t believe in compromising God’s standards to satisfy out wordly wants- it truely was Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve . Re-write the Bible if you like it doesn’t change the TRUTH .

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1451973744 Laura B Piedad

    I have two boys and I say the same things to them – I let them know they are handsome and a blessing to me.  I also remind them that every girl they date should be worth marrying.  As they get older, I will tell them they should both be worthy of each others love through respect and virtue.  As I read this article I was pleased that the author recommended the same things I tell my sons.  Hopefully one day my sons will meet these daughters.

  • Anonymous

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Every girl needs confirmation that she is beautiful. You don’t want to compare beauty to the “model,tv, magazine, skinny” stereotype because that is wrong, but to say that we are perpetuating the stereotype that girls have to beautiful is outrageous. Every girl wants to be told she is beautiful, and for any reason you don’t tell your daughter or loved ones they are, YOU ARE WRONG!

  • Anonymous

    I’m talking EVERY girl. So quit lying if you say you don’t like being called beautiful.

  • Anonymous

    Christians should love the sinner but hate the sin.  Loving your neighbor as yourself does not mean that you must also love their sin.  We all have and do commit sins that we should hate.  Sex outside of marriage is a sin, whether it is gay sex or straight sex.  Marriage is between a man and a woman.  Howcome a person is gay does not matter (genetics? experience? who knows and who cares!)  We all have faults, we all have certain virtues that are particularly hard for us to acheive.  This does not mean that we cannot overcome them, prayer is very powerful in helping us to better ourselves.  A gay person can live in God’s love by remaining chaste.  Complete chastity is especially virtuous because it allows us to focus our lives more fully on our love for God.  There is, of course, absolutely nothing wrong with marriage, certainly it is a wonderful choice in life!  But, marriage does provide distractions from fully loving God that are harder to overcome than that of a single, chaste person.  It is not judging to recognize a sin and call it what it is.  God gave us the Ten Commandments so that we might recognize sin.  Jesus came to show us how to live by his example and words.  We are called to lead others to salvation, we cannot, as Christians, lead others to salvation if we do not first call a sin “a sin.”  Jesus embraced sinners and forgave them when they asked for his forgiveness!  He did not say, see how I love the sinner and see how I love their sins!  No, He said, see how I love the sinner and wait with open arms to FORGIVE them of their sins should they but ask for my mercy!!!

  • doug huffman

    Please people, dont teach your kids to melt into society! Teach them how different they are! teach them that following the rules dont mean becoming a puppet! To raise kids right, you need to forget all of what you have learned in your lifetime. Teach them real values and how to make decisions based on logic and reason, not passion or emotion! wonder why kids growing up 200 years ago had so much respect for not only their parents, but everyone around them? Its because the governments are teaching your kids now, they teach them that the founding fathers were evil men, they also teach them to listen to a uniform over their own parents!
     If you do the best you can raising your kids, and they still turn out to be numb skulls, then blame the real influence in their lives! all the garbage they listen to on the radio, all the garbage they watch on t.v, and all the garbage they learn in school!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=116900470 Jordan Councill

    I love this article post and commend Dads that set high standards for their daughters.  Below is a link to another great lesson to learn on how to best influence the lives of our daughters…  Hope you enjoy this as much as the top post…

    http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/love-her-mother?lang=eng

  • http://www.facebook.com/ZESmith Zac Smith

    Uh, are you equating the bible with the truth?

  • Anonymous

    am i mistaken, or didn’t Jesus teach us to be kind to ALL, regardless of whatever “sins” they may or may not be committing.  even assuming arguendo that being gay is a “choice”, to say that you follow the bible and it says you don’t have to treat that person with respect frankly is bullsh*t.  or did y’all skip the part about Jesus’ relationship with mary magdalene and the kindess he showed her…and her sins WERE actual choices (or at least, to my knowledge, there isn’t any group claiming that certain people are born prostitutes…).  therein lies the hypocrisy.  unless y’all are claiming that God wouldn’t want his children to respect his other children just because in their (judgmental) eyes, those children are choosing to sin.  Last I heard, God is perfectly capable of weeding out the true sinners himself…

  • http://www.facebook.com/sandy.flick1 Sandy Flick

    Very well said!!! And as for all of the gay comments about God is love, and somehow condones being gay, please be reminded that in the Old Testament, the entire cities of SODOM ( where we get the term sodomy) and Gomorrah were completely burned with fire and brimstone that fell from Heaven because of homosexuality. Also, in Romans chap. 1, in the New Testament, it is written by the apostle Paul that this is clearly a sin. God made a man and a woman, period. Anything else is defiant to nature itself. Anyone who suggests God is OK with it, clearly doesn’t understand scripture, or just doesn’t believe it, or doesn’t care. However, we ARE to love the sinner, and hate the sin, which is a fine line for most people. If either of my children chooses to be gay, of course I will continue to love them, but I will not agree with what they have chosen to do. There is nothing so terrible that they could do, that I would not love them. But, if they choose this lifestyle, it will not be because we did not try to provide a good example of what a loving, committed, Christian family is all about.  They will have to answer to God someday for their own actions, as we all will. My husband and I enjoyed this article very much, and will also try to act accordingly.  It is difficult at times to raise children with morals and values in this crazy world!

  • http://www.facebook.com/sandy.flick1 Sandy Flick

    100x Amen!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=685535405 Jeri Sue Sharp

    Wow I only wish my dad would have affirmed me just once! I pray that my girls dad will one day see how much they need him.

  • Anonymous

    This article is absolutely bizarre.  The guy asks for directions, then makes some unheard ‘sarcastic’ remark to his daughter…and the author completely loses her marbles.  She wants to hit the guy in the face, then she runs home and writes tangential reverie about her father and honoring and affirming daughters.  Things like this are a matter of degree, but the innocuousness of the initial transgression and the sustained and bizarre intensity of her reaction screams “projecting daddy issues” to me.  I have a hunch this woman is seeing terrible actions where there really is not much going on.  She strikes me as someone with a long-standing simmering resentment issue that is just looking for excuses to express pious indignation. 

    Here’s a thought: maybe the sarcastic remark was *about the author.*  “Oh boy, here comes that crazy bible lady again.”  Fathers and daughters (and sons) may share lots of hummelware-based love moments, but they also share moments of amused misery together regarding each other’s burdens.  A one-dimensional approach to life (e.g. always positive and upbeat) is usually the mark of a very fragile person.  Before trashing this guy online, I think the author should check her own mood swing at the door and get to know him a little better.

  • http://twitter.com/JenLanguishes Jennifer of Languish

    Actually, Sodom and Gomorrah were burned not for homosexuality but for a lack of hospitality. Honestly. Read the Bible. It’s ironic that people use Sodom and Gomorrah as reason to perpetuate hatred when that’s the very reason God struck them.

  • http://thatwhichisgiven.wordpress.com/ Lauren Elizabeth

    Boys don’t need to hear the same things. God created girls with an inner need to feel beautiful. Boys are created with an inner need to feel strong. Girls want to be loved, boys want to be respected. Of course both want some of both, but if a girl doesn’t feel loved, she harms herself — if a boy doesn’t feel respected, he harms others.

    Also, don’t forget that all girls are beautiful. ALL girls. We’re the most beautiful things in God’s creation. A girl’s self-esteem isn’t tied to whether or not she IS beautiful (she already is); it’s tied to whether or not she FEELS beautiful, and not just physically. That’s why it’s so important for dads to affirm their daughters’ beauty — calling them “pretty” and “smart” and “mature” and “strong”. Those are all words that are synonymous with “beautiful” in our minds. If girls don’t feel beautiful, then we feel like nothing, but if we feel beautiful, if we know deep inside ourselves that we truly are stunningly, breathtakingly, captivatingly gorgeous (and we are) then we feel like we can shake the earth. And we can.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_A2EH3WRNJEBHUFPGNTP4H25KO4 Gordon Gekko

    this is idiotic crap.  Why do people feel the need to let someone else tell them how they should raise their kids?  Here is common sense:  If you beat your kids, insult them, etc. they will hit other kids and most likely be F-ed up in life.  If you are a parent, not a friend, and actually take care of them without being abusive than odds are more in your favor that your kid stays out of prison.  

  • http://www.benjermcveigh.com/ Benjer McVeigh

    So true! “Be the husband you want her to have one day.” This could be the #1 piece of advice dads need…it almost encompasses everything else.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patricia-C-Kubitz/100000056854428 Patricia C. Kubitz

    Body language speaks volumes, afterall there are many experts on the subject. Besides, imagine how you feel when someone you love does something that shows disrespect. You know what I mean, a sigh, a snort, a roll of the eyes… Male and female, young, old and in-between are very different and have different needs.  This was an excellent article as presented and yes, it reminds me of the Golden Rule. I think it is sad this forum was hijacked by gay supporters and others that have a need to write volumes on the Bible.  For Heaven’s sake, go pick up a Bible and read it…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sheri-Stodola/100001545511004 Sheri Stodola

    I’m sorry you didn’t get that affirmation as a boy.  I had only a son.  I told him I loved him everyday..taught him to never hit a woman..and don’t have sex with any girl you wouldn’t want to marry.  He was a nice looking kid but we didn’t dwell on that as much as the important things.  So far he didn’t do the one and most important thing I tried to get into his head. He had a one night stand and they got a baby girl.  It turned out to be a mess because they never even dated after.

    In answer to your question, a good parent with a girl or boy gives them the same talks and affirmations.  They may have accidents along the way but they do try to live up to your expectations. Be there for them right or wrong.

  • Anonymous

    At first glance, I totally agreed with this article.  However, I have a few concerns which I think the author needs to address.  The first of my concerns echoes what many other parents have stated and that is “this applies to daughters AND sons”.  Although self-esteem for females is acknowledged more among the greater population, it is a big issue for males of all ages as well and should be recognized.  My second concern is the actual messages we send.  While I agree that we should affirm our children, the message we send them should be more than superficial and tied to who they end up in a relationship with.  Instead of perpetuating a belief that people should be judged based on their looks and their worthiness to be with, shouldn’t we be teaching and reaffirming our children that they are worthy individuals because of the unique qualities that help them grow up to be successful, confident adults. Talk to them about the person you hope they grow up to be not who they will marry. “You’re smart”. “You should be proud because you worked hard to achieve that goal”. “You are kind and should treat all people with respect and honesty”.  “It’s ok if you fail at something or don’t fully achieve your goal, as long as you learn from it and continue to work hard at achieving it”.  Helping our kids believe in themselves so they can be successful adults outside of a spouse or partner should be the message we are sending.  

  • Darrell J

    l like the article, and I agree with affirmation, encouragement, and support from any parent to their child regardless of their gender. I would just like to know more about what inspired the narrator of this article to write this based on her reaction to the father when she didn’t hear what was said, take the time to understand the situation, or simply was agrivated by not receiving a returned gesture. What nationality was the guy, where did he grow up…? If the author didn’t understand what he said to his daughter but reacted in anger, maybe the author needs some help on her people skills. Not every man, woman, or child is socially outgoing. The guy could have been raised in a big city where no one puts a hand out to say hi, or in another country where shaking hands with the opposite sex means proposal… And to say she wanted to punch him… I’m sorry, her article has some valid points below, but to be inspired to write an article with such emotion based on the facts included in the first paragraph, i mean really? Yes she has some valid points on what fathers need to do for their daughters, but how does it relate to him not returning a hand shake?

  • Anonymous

    Patricia, body language can say a lot….but so can “actual” language.  The author makes quite a leap here, arguing that the father has ‘not honored’ his daughter all based on her subtle interpretation of the way he moved his body and his facial expression.  I suppose an opposite extreme would be assuming that a husband must love his wife because he holds her hand in public, and couldn’t possibly be beating her up at home.

    There are some great general themes in the article, but initial event triggering her reaction is so poorly described that it screams “nut job” loudly enough to obliterate her quieter, more subtle opinions.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/kay.chadbourne Kay Chadbourne

    All  any  girl  or  woman  needs  to  feel  beautiful is to  be  loved.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kay.chadbourne Kay Chadbourne

    Supose it  was Adam  and  Steve  in  the  garden?. Could  you  all  of  a  sudden start being  sexually attracted  to your  same  sex?  Some  things  I  know  for  dead  certain…Jesus  Christ  is  Lord. I am  supposed  to  love  God  with  all  my  heart and  my  neighbors  as  myself. As  for  me  I  am  going  to do  what  I  know  for  certain God  desires  of  me Seek  his  mercy  and  forgiveness  when  I  fall  short and  Let  God  do  the Judging.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sandy.flick1 Sandy Flick

    this is in response to Jennifer of Languish, actually I don’t hate anyone, I just don’t agree with everyone’s decisions in this life…also, I think you are the one who needs to study your scriptures, as I said, this is where the very word sodomy comes from…I didn’t create this…also if you study this scripture carefully, the homosexual men in these cities actually made passes at the ANGELS whom God sent…God was so fed up with the sin, not lack of kindness. The story begins when Lot, Abraham’s nephew “pitched his tent toward Sodom”….Sorry, I know this story quite thoroughly, I can assure you, as well as the entire first chapter of the book of Romans. No Bible verse is means for hatred…however. Just communication.

  • Michael Langford

    Hmmm. I don’t necessarily agree with this. I was raised with a teacher as a mom and a military dad. Key word dad. He did these things. He re-assured my sister and i. My sister never listened to him. She always had in her head he was “picking” on her, when he was completely sincere. She is now pregnant with a boyfriend with no job who has 2 kids by another woman. However, I am going into the ministry to be a  Pastor. Some will be rebellious. It is a matter of maturity along with the affirmation. Without the maturity, the affirmation means nothing. Sorry to hear of your father. God bless you and your child! :)

  • Anonymous

    I have always reinforced with my boys they are worth something.  Way to many times we do encourage little girls that they must be beautiful and the boys go unnoticed. My son told me he was going to play Simple Man for me at his wedding and when I married his step-dad he played Becaused you loved me by Celine Dion.  Talk about an impact??  I love my boys!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/julygas22 Gordon Scott

    Let’s pray that our relationship with Him is at it’s peak – the rest will come

  • Michael Langford

    http://michael-ictinike.blogspot.com/ This is my blog and my last post currently is about the validity of Atheism. You cannot, from a scientific or logical standpoint, prove atheism to be correct or even plausible. 

  • Michael Langford

    Proof the Bible? Here ya go.

    Why do I believe in the Bible?                                                                        Inspired by Voddie Baucham Do you know why you believe in the Bible?            Many people have two answers to this question. However, the answers are not good enough to correctly answer this question. The two answers most frequently given are: That’s the way I was raised. AAAAAHHHH. NO. WRONGGGGG!You ask why?! The answer is simple. This answer is not good enough because other people are raised to believe other things that are contradicting to the Bible and it’s ideas. This statement doesn’t hold water because there is no validity in your statement. I tried it and it worked for me! AAAHH. NOPE. WRONG AGAIN.Again, you ask why?! That answer is perfect. Wrong. For example, by this logic, anything could fill this void because it “worked”. An alcoholic goes to Alcoholics Anonymous and step 3 is to find a higher power to help you quit. The alcoholic goes through religions and theories and nothing works immediately. Hmmmm… Well, to complete step 3, the alcoholic must have a “higher power” for the upcoming meeting. On a last minute whim, the alcoholic says to himself, “That lamppost outside never moves, always has light, and I can rely on it to never fail me.” Because of this he tells the AA coach that the lamppost is his higher power. The alcoholic has not had a drink since for six years. So, according to the logic of “it worked for me,” the alcoholic’s lamppost has as much “authority” as your Bible and our Lord and Savior, because he tried the lamppost and it worked for him. Hmmm… “Smellin’ what I’m steppin’ in?” THESE ANSWERS AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH! IT DOESN’T WORK! THEY DO NOT HOLD WATER! SOOOOO…. Now we need an answer that can solidify our argument of why we believe the Bible. Well, here it goes…The Bible is a reliable source of historical documents written down by eyewitnesses during the lifetime of other eyewitnesses that report supernatural events which took place in fulfillment of specific prophecies and claim to be divine rather than human in origin.I KNOW, I KNOW! You’re thinking “HOLY DANG BANANAS!!!” Most people are trying to figure out what this means and how to break it down to get the true meaning behind it. So, here it goes. I’ll do it for you.Remember these quotes as we go through this. “Defend the Bible? I would just as soon defend a lion. Just turn the Bible loose. It will defend itself.” – Charles Spurgeon
    Voddie Baucham says, “I do not defend the Bible, I only defend my belief in the Bible, because the Bible can defend itself.” Step 1. Take out your Bible.Step 2. Turn to 2 Peter 1:16-21 (NASB)    16 “For we did not follow cleverly devised tales when we made known to you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we were eyewitnesses of His majesty. 17 For when He received honor and glory from God the Father, such an utterance as this was made to Him by the Majestic Glory, “This is My beloved Son with whom I am well-pleased”— 18 and we ourselves heard this utterance made from heaven when we were with Him on the holy mountain. 19 So we have the prophetic word made  more sure, to which you do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts. 20 But know this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture is a matterof one’s own interpretation, 21 for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.”v. 16a“For we did not follow cleverly devised tales when we made known to you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ…”What does this mean? Hmmm.                            I.         66 Books of the Bible                           II.         40+ authors                          III.         3 different Continents (Africa, Asia, Europe)                          IV.         3 languages (Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic)                           V.         1500+ years to writev Over all these years, many, if any, of these authors never met or even heard of each other.v 23,000+ archaeological digs that are directly related to historical events in the Bible have been conducted. NOT ONE has ever caused Scripture to have to be altered in any way.Luke says in Chapter 1:1-4, “Inasmuch as many have undertaken to compile an account of the things accomplished among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and servants of the word, it seemed fitting for me as well, having investigated everything carefully from the beginning, to write it out for you in consecutive order, most excellent Theophilus; so that you may know the exact truth about the things you have been taught.”v. 16b“…but we were eyewitnesses of His majesty.”Well, what is this supposed to mean?!?!                        I.         Take a crime scene drama (i.e. CSI) and put eyewitnesses in the first scene. What happens? No drama can occur because eyewitnesses solidify truth and purpose of the investigation; therefore, leaving the investigation completed.Step 3. Turn to 1 John 1:1-4 (NASB)    1 “What was from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, concerning the Word of Life— 2 and the life was manifested, and we have seen and testify and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was manifested to us— 3 what we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ. 4 These things we write, so that our joy may be made complete.” Step 4. Turn to 1 Corinthians 15:1-8 (NASB)    1 “Now I make known to you, brethren, the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received, in which also you stand, 2 by which also you are saved, if you hold fast the word which I preached to you, unless you believed in vain. 3 For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, 5 and that He appeared to Cephas [Peter], then to the twelve. 6 After that He appeared to more than five hundred brethren at one time, most of whom remain until now, but some have fallen asleep; 7 then He appeared to James, then to all the apostles; 8 and last of all, as to one untimely born, He appeared to me also.”Over 300 witnesses to the resurrection of Jesus Christ were still alive when the Apostle Paul wrote 1 Corinthians. v An argument that is proposed to these verses is:Do we have documents written much later? Ordo we have the gospels of Thomas and Judas? [Da Vinci Code argument]-       This is a conspiracy derived basis of the New Testament. However, manuscripts refute this act of conspiracy. Over 6000 manuscripts or pieces of manuscripts have been found of the New Testament.Comparison:a)  Julius Caesar’s Gallic Wars has less than ten original manuscripts that we can put our hands on today.b)  Aristotle’s Poetics has less than five original manuscripts that we can put our hands on today.c)  Homer’s Iliad has less than ten manuscripts available today.ALSO….v Gallic Wars: earliest known copy was written over 900 years after the original was written. v Poetics: earliest known copy was written between 1400-1500 years after the original was composed. v Iliad: earliest known copy was written 2000+ years after the original was composed. v New Testament documents: We have documents written as early as A.D. 120. The new Testament was finished around A.D. 95. Hmmmmmm…. 900 Years, 1400-1500 Years, 2000+ years…. 25 Years…16 “But the eleven disciples proceeded to Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had designated. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some were doubtful. 18And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” – Matthew 28:16-20Because of this, if these documents were available and “contradicted” the Bible, the monks from the time would have had to change every translation. This is after they stole EVERY document, cover up the ink changes, and return EVERY document back to its original place without getting caught. BTW by this time, the Bible had been translated into four languages. (Greek, Latin, Syriac, and Coptic). Therefore, there were 6000 documents per language.Early church fathers at that time did commentaries extensively on these documents. We could retain 95-98% of the New Testament scripture from their quotes in these commentaries.SOOOOO….hmmmm…6000 Greek manuscripts, 6000 Latin manuscripts, 6000 Syriac manuscripts, 6000 Coptic manuscripts, EVERY commentary of EVERY early church fathers in all four languages.It has been determined it would take 300-400 years to complete this task with a full force of monks at a non-stop pace. Hmmm…. interesting huh?!v This usually somehow brings up Constantine. Wasn’t the bible written during his reign? (A.D 306 – A.D. 337)“Oddly” enough [sarcasm], the early church had the New Testament long before Constantine reigned. v. 17-18    17 “…For when He received honor and glory from God the Father, such an utterance as this was made to Him by the Majestic Glory, “This is My beloved Son with whom I am well-pleased”— 18 and we ourselves heard this utterance made from heaven when we were with Him on the holy mountain…”MIRACLESVoice of God on the Mount of Transfiguration. (Matt. 17:1-5)
    Paralytic – Jesus heals the man who is paralyzed after in which his friends lowered him through the roof to see Jesus. (Mark 2:1-12)
    Withered hand – Jesus heals a man’s withered hand on the Sabbath. (Matt. 12:9-13)
    Lepers – Jesus heals the lepers. (Matt. 8:1-4, Mark 1:40-45, Luke 5:12-16)
    Bleeding Woman – Jesus heals her by her touching the hem of His robe. (Mark 5:21-43, Matt. 9:18-26, Luke 8:40-56)
    Jesus walks on water. (Matt. 14:22-33)
    Friday DEAD, Sunday RISEN! (Luke 24)Step 5. Turn to Psalm 22.    1 My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning. 2 O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; And by night, but I have no rest. 3 Yet You are holy, O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel. 4 In You our fathers trusted; They trusted and You delivered them. 5 To You they cried out and were delivered; In You they trusted and were not disappointed. 6 But I am a worm and not a man, A reproach of men and despised by the people. 7 All who see me sneer at me; They separate with the lip, they wag the head, saying, 8 “Commit yourself to the LORD; let Him deliver him; Let Him rescue him, because He delights in him.” 9 Yet You are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust when upon my mother’s breasts. 10Upon You I was cast from birth; You have been my God from my mother’s womb. 11 Be not far from me, for trouble is near; For there is none to help. 12 Many bulls have surrounded me; Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled me. 13 They open wide their mouth at me, As a ravening and a roaring lion. 14 I am poured out like water, And all my bones are out of joint; My heart is like wax; It is melted within me. 15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd, And my tongue cleaves to my jaws; And You lay me in the dust of death. 16 For dogs have surrounded me; A band of evildoers has encompassed me; They pierced my hands and my feet. 17 I can count all my bones. They look, they stare at me; 18 They divide my garments among them, And for my clothing they cast lots. 19 But You, O LORD, be not far off; O You my help, hasten to my assistance. 20 Deliver my soul from the sword, My only life from the power of the dog. 21 Save me from the lion’s mouth; From the horns of the wild oxen You answer me. 22 I will tell of Your name to my brethren; In the midst of the assembly I will praise You. 23 You who fear the LORD, praise Him; All you descendants of Jacob, glorify Him, And stand in awe of Him, all you descendants of Israel. 24 For He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; Nor has He hidden His face from him; But when he cried to Him for help, He heard. 25 From You comes my praise in the great assembly; I shall pay my vows before those who fear Him. 26 The afflicted will eat and be satisfied; Those who seek Him will praise the LORD. Let your heart live forever! 27 All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD, And all the families of the nations will worship before You. 28 For the kingdom is the LORD’S And He rules over the nations. 29 All the prosperous of the earth will eat and worship, All those who go down to the dust will bow before Him, Even he who cannot keep his soul alive. 30 Posterity will serve Him; It will be told of the Lord to the coming generation. 31 They will come and will declare His righteousness To a people who will be born, that He has performed it.”FYI – We didn’t have chapters or verses until the 1500’s. [fun fact for Will Flournoy]Does this sound familiar?!!?!??Hmmm. You are thinking, “Didn’t Jesus say this on the cross?”Yes. He did. But what’s the significance of this? Well, let’s see.a)   V. 6-8 This is what is being said to Jesus as He is being crucified.b)   V.12-14 Crucifixion scenario – Spear to the side, blood and water running down Jesus’ body.c)    V. 15 Thirstingd)   V. 16 Dogs = Gentiles, between evildoers (Crucifixion)e)    V. 16-17 It was a High Holy Day…Because of this, they wanted to get the men down from the crosses and they were going to break their legs. However Jesus had already died, so breaking his bones wasn’t necessary and Jesus had no broken bones.f)     V. 18 Romans did this with Jesus’ clothes. This was written around 1000 years before Jesus’ birth. FACT: David had NEVER witnessed a crucifixion. You know why? It wasn’t even invented yet. Hmmmm… This is why Peter is able to say in in 2 Peter 1:19, “…So we have the prophetic wordmade  more sure, to which you do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts…” v “… And claim to be divine rather than human in origin…”g)   V. 20-21 God is the author.Paul says, “All Scripture is God breathed.” The Bible claims God to be the author when it says:“And God spoke to Abraham…”
    “And the Lord said to Moses…”A problem with this always seems to arise. It goes like this:Men wrote the Bible, which means it can’t be “authoritative” because they wrote it?!-       Why is this?! Is this correct?!v If you want to argue this, don’t you have to disqualify EVERY book ever written? Men wrote those too.Because of this, you have to judge the Bible on the same standard of penmanship and articulation as ANY other book. By what it says and historical truth.
    Some people want to hold the Bible to another standard. Problem is, they don’t always know what standard that is.v They want proof SCIENTIFICALLY.-       However, if you feel this way, you do not have the intellectual ability to understand what scientifically proving would require. Apparently, you do not know the Scientific Method.Observe – Something must be observable.
    Measurable – Something must be able to be measured.
    Repeatable – Something must be repeatable.Which means………-       You cannot prove ANY history with the scientific method. History isn’t observable, measurable, or repeatable.For you to ask for scientific methods proving the veracity of Scripture, is like you saying, I want you to prove SCIENTIFICALLY that George Washington was the first President of the United States of America. You CANNOT do it! You know why? It is because his presidency isn’t observable, measurable, or repeatable.You do NOT use the Scientific Method to prove ANY historical events.Do you know what you do use? Hmmmm….It is called the Evidentiary Method, which is the method we use in a courtroom.But, what happens when you apply this Evidentiary Method?Do you have internal consistency in what is written?
    Do you have corroboration in what is written?
    Do you have reliability in what is written?OK, so you have 3 languages, 3 continents, 40+ authors, 66 books, and 1500 years. Authors who didn’t know each other, with all of this it is ONE story without any contradictory issues in values, penmanship, or rhetoric. Hmmmm……Moreover, these 40+ authors use names, dates, and places to specifically identify who, what, where, and when EVERYTHING took place.If we are looking for internal consistency, if we are looking for corroboration, and if we are looking for reliability then we have two sides…..Here they are:Is it actually an intellectual person who doubts the New Testament?ORIs it the intellectual person who says, “I choose to believe the Bible, because it is a reliable collection of historical documents written down by eyewitnesses during the lifetime of other eyewitnesses that report supernatural events which took place in fulfillment of specific prophecies and claim to be divine rather than human in origin?Would you consider this more than efficient???-       But, if they don’t understand after this say, “I tried it….it worked for me!” ALWAYS remember one thing. Know what you believe, why you believe it, and always be able to communicate it effectively and truthfully to others. From your brother in Christ,Michael Langford