What Every Dad Should Know About Their Daughter

Brian, the answers to your questions about the Bible’s validity is in my previous post and answers to questions about atheism. They are both quite lengthy, but they will be good for you to read and see the validity behind both. 

As for svantassell, 
“…As such, I believe he provides his children with every opportunity in this life or after we pass on to learn of his Gospel, repent of their sins, and come unto Christ. I believe that God judges his children by their works in this life, not just by simply someone “claiming” they accept Christ as their Savior…”

You WILL NOT get a chance after you die. Hebrews 9:27 says that we are destined to die once, and after that final judgement. You WILL NOT get a second chance. Also in Luke 16:19-31 is the parable of the rich man who died and went to Hell. He looked up to Heaven and cried out for mercy, but was told a chasm was between Heaven and Hell… a chasm that cannot be crossed. It is not God’s desire for anyone to spend eternity in Hell. As it says it 2 Peter 3:9, “He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” And, also Revelation 20:11-15 speaks of the judgement and it says clearly that if your name is not in the book of life, a second death will occur by falling into hell. 

Also, works are judged. big BUT here, Faith without works is dead, YES. But, works alone is not going to get you saved. NO matter how many “good deeds” you do, without faith you are STILL going to HELL. and without works, your faith is dead. That is very clear in James 2:14-26. 
 ”14 What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food,16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? 17 Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.      18 But someone may well say, “You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works.” 19 You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder. 20 But are you willing to recognize, you foolish fellow, that faith without works is useless? 21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered up Isaac his son on the altar? 22 You see that faith was working with his works, and as a result of the works, faith was perfected; 23 and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “AND ABRAHAM BELIEVED GOD, AND IT WAS RECKONED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS,” and he was called the friend of God. 24 You see that a man is justified by works and not by faith alone. 25 In the same way, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out by another way? 26 For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead.”

Why do I believe in the Bible? Right here bud.
http://michael-ictinike.blogspot.com/2012/01/why-do-i-believe-bible.html

http://michael-ictinike.blogspot.com/2012/01/why-do-i-believe-bible.html

Yes, truth.

“…turns out to be gay…”???
“Gay” is not a state of being!  The Bible identifies two things associated with homosexuality as sin:
1. Gay sex (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26-27; 1Corinthians 6:9)
2. Sexual lust (Matthew 5:28-30)

Without gay sex or gay lust, there is no gay!   Speaking against gay sex and gay lust IS NOT HATE, it is LOVE!  Two and 1/2 years ago, I became the father of a beautiful little girl.  There is no greater joy in this life than being a father!  I am an uncle and a school teacher and am around children all the time, but those experiences pale in comparison!  I hate to see people robbed of this joy by a LIE!

Lots of men and women commit sodomy together too. That’s not limited to gay people. Give the gays a rest!  We shouldn’t worry about people who LOVE each other (male or female), we should worry about the people who hate each other and don’t respect other people!

I’m currently stationed in Little Rock undergoing Air Force training that will keep me away from my two very young girls for six months. I fought back tears as my 5 yr old sobbed over the web cam that she just wants to hug me. I hate seeing fathers that don’t cherish their time with their daughters, or worse. They abuse their time with these sweet and impresionable souls. Every day I pray for them! Every day I ask God to make me the man I’m suposed to be for them. Everytime we speak, I tell them how much I love them. Never EVER stop telling your children that they are loved, that they are special, that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. It pains me to be away from them. But I know, as much as I love them. Their Heavenly Father loves them more. I have faith that he will keep them until I return. When you lay them down to sleep tonight. Kiss them and hold them close. Think of me and my brothers and sisters who can’t make it home, and thank God for the priviledge of being a parent.      

With deepest respect.

TSgt Sawyer USAF                                                  

Always interesting how folks who quote the Bible can find whatEVER they want to support their particular position! There are far more interpretations of everything in the Bible than there were writers (and there were quite a few authors, here, folks). We’ll never all agree. Can we not just focus on what is APPROPRIATE? None of us was around when “God wrote the Bible”; wait; didn’t he/she/it write the Torah? the Quran? and perhaps a few other tomes that are followed by many?  What are we to do?! Use native intelligence – the God that imbued us with a sense of reason didn’t expect us not to use it.

@whatbibleareYOUreading, loving the sinner does NOT translate to loving and accepting the sin, ALL persons deserve respect.  If we love and accept the outward SINS then we show that person a grave LACK of love.  NO it is NOT judgemental to kindly point out an outward sin as long as one does not do it as “I am better than you” but rather “I care for your soul.”  We are all sinners and we are called to not only achieve heaven but assist others in achieving heaven, this can NOT be done by embracing their sins.  Jesus loved the sinner and said that he waits with open arms for us to but ask for forgiveness and he will give us his mercy.  (We cannot ask for forgiveness while we still willfully embrace the sin.)

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I agree the messages we send are different. Maybe that is the problem. We SHOULD be affirming our sons. Fathers should be talking to thier sons about the kind of woman they should be looking for, how intelligent they are and how proud they are of them. It isnt about stereotypes. It is about making sure our voice is the voice our children hear in thier hearts every time they make a choice that could impact thier future. Aside from that boys and girls ARE different! Equality is not the idea that we are all the same. We aren’t. Equality is accepting that each person is unique and allowing them to embrace it without shame, fear or guilt. Equality is telling our children we love them, in the way they need to hear it.

Kindness, yes.

Love, not necessarily ~ let’s be honest we don’t “love” everyone one & in point of fact we don’t always “like” everyone.  That doesn’t mean we can’t be kind.  Respect is earned not given or demanded.  A child throwing a tantrum does not DESERVE respect & neither does an adult who choose to flaunt their intimacy in the faces of those they know disagree!  
With regards to the assertion that homosexuals are “born that way”, a quick Google search for “gay gene” gives everything from wikipedia to pbs, to fox news to one news now to webmd.  The most informative CLOSE to current one I could find was an article from one news now.  Before pulling out the bully sticks & name-calling I’ll their quote from the APA (
American Psychological Association).  
The APA put out a brochure entitled 
 ”Answers to Your Questions for a Better Understanding of Sexual Orientation & Homosexuality”
That brochure contained the following:”There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors.”That’s right, the APA said MUCH RESEARCH…NO FINDINGS…CONCLUDE…

The Bible calls any sex outside of a man/woman / male/female / husband/wife relationship sin.  You can call it fornication, adultery, sodomy or you can use the more modern euphemisms of “sleeping together”, “friends with benefits” etc. but it all amounts to the same thing.  Sexual intimacy with anyone other than a heterosexual spouse is sin.  That means that telling our teens that while we don’t want them to “fool around” we also understand that they might choose to do so & if they’re going to do it, we want them to know how to do it “safely” is not really much different than telling them that while we don’t want them to KILL someone, we understand that they might choose to do so & if they’re going to do it, we want to help them prepare, so we’ll sharpen the ax blade or load the gun for them!   If we wouldn’t HELP them sin in other ways or EXCUSE their choice to sin based on their age, why are we so influenced by secular society to help/excuse their sexual sin!???

 I have a son and believe it is more than the outward appearance.  In today’s society we focus on “you are so pretty” “you are so handsome”.  We don’t put enough focus on “pretty is as pretty does.”  Meaning it is what is on the inside and how you treat others that sets you apart.

I also tell my son he’s handsome but I try to focus more on how he treats others.  When I see him doing something right I try to make a big deal out of it so that he learns that treating others well means something.

I have a boy (18) an a girl (22) and this story is sooo true! It’s about a “Woman’s Worth” and a “Mans”  Parents.. teach your kids to be the kind of people you would want in your life… show them BY EXAMPLE!!!!  Simple as that!  Children learn what they see and hear…. and You are their teachers!

Well I know children of devout Christians, even children whose father is a pastor, and they went out drinking as teenagers, experimented with drugs and had sexual encounters as teens, and also had sex without being married. So does it make it ok just because they are raised in a Christian household???? Homosexuality is not an acceptable action before God…otherwise, he wouldn’t have created Eve by taking a rib from Adam, and then told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply. Hate to tell you folks, but we were created to be united as one in God through a covenant (lasting until death)marriage…then reproduce…sexual union was a gift to us from God to create children and to share an intimacy/union with ONE person. If you cannot create children by a sexual encounter(not referring to couples with infertility problems-refering to homosexuality), then it is not acceptable to our God. If animals were homosexual, they would go extinct. One cannot be “born” a homosexual, it is like saying we are born black and can “become” white or we are born with brown eyes and decide that they are blue…we are born male or female in the “IMAGE” of our GOD!!! Period!!  Homesexuality is put into someones head through societal influences…or experimentation. It is a form of mental illness put there by Satan. It is a sin-just like adultry and stealing.This is another part of Satan’s plan to destroy us by breaking up something that creates love…family…he is attacking families and increasing hatred…divorce, abuse, adultry..all of these are his ploys against us and God. Yes people we were given free will, the opportunity to choose for ourselves, if someone thinks they are homosexual…they also probably think they are without sin. Or feel sin is ok because all they need to do is ask for forgiveness. This world has a lot of problems…unwed pregnancies, drugs and alcohol addictions, divorce, crime…it doesn’t make it right just because it is happening in our society. We, as a society, have become way too accepting of sinful actions. We, as a society, need to turn our attention to God and His Living Word…Jesus Christ. Just because we don’t accept the sinful things, does not mean that we do not love the people committing the sins. We are all sinners…we all deserve to be loved! Let God do the judging, but stop accepting things as being “ok” just because they are the “Norm” in our present day society. We are to turn our eyes away from things that do not please our God. When Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, it opened their eyes to sinfulness, but even though they didn’t know any better, it didn’t make it right. If you choose to accept homosexuality, you are condoning sin…

It is about being beautiful from the inside. We have taught our children that beauty shines through your actions. We praise our children (two girls and a boy) constantly for their kindness and actions following the praise with “you are so beautiful inside and out!”  The oldest is 12 and youngest is 9 and quite frankly they are amazing children. I am told by so many adults about how loving and kind they are. The only thing I would change to this article is that yes the Dad does greatly influence the daughter but so does the mom. It is by example that they grow into fine adults. Not, “do as I say and not as I do.”

@ProudCatholicMom:disqus As a Christian, I completely agree with you assessment that the act of homosexuality is a sin. The Bible makes that very clear, as have the people in this forum.
However, I strongly disagree with your idea that “people cannot be born a homosexual.” Unfortunately, many people interpret “There is no clear biological explanation for homosexuality,” as “It is completely a choice.” The reality is that the evidence weighs very heavily on the side that there is a biological component. So at the end of the day, the scientific consensus is that it is NOT a choice to be a homosexual. 
Unfortunately is it people like you perpetuating this stereotype that causes so many homosexuals to commit suicide; both in the teenage years and later. If we are committed to following Jesus’ example, The Church must reach out to these people with love and accept them into their pews. 
Think about, Satan’s goal is simply to separate us from God. He can do this through any sin, great or small. So why do Christians spend so much time condemning homosexuality? It seems the Devil is pretty pumped to see The Church ignoring the sins in its midst while denouncing and rejecting homosexuals.

I am sorry, but it is our job as Christians to tell what GOD thinks of sin.  He did write the Scriptures, and we are to obey them.  In this case, it’s not hard to know what the truth is. Sin is sin, no matter what the sin is.  And no other sin is worse than the other, as even one sin, disqualifies you from heaven.  God can’t look upon sin, thus He sent His Son, to be our substitute for our sin, IF we except Him as Savior.  Being homosexual is a sin, the same as stealing or gossiping.  We choose to sin, when we KNOW the difference between right and wrong, so we are then quilty.  If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive that sin.  People have propensities to get hooked on certain “sins”, and the devil KNOWS which sin it is that YOU are susceptible to, and he will use it against you!  This is where, when you know that it is a sin, don’t rationalize it away, but if you love God more than the sin, DO something about it, repent, turn away from it, and get help.  Many have turned from the homosexual lifestyle. If stealing was promoted as OK, then everyone would be a thief!  But we know it is not OK.  You CAN judge righteous judgement, and not selfish judgement.  Everyone judges “some” thing, every day, to know whether or not it is right or wrong.  If we judge selfishly our of a bad motive, then it becomes a sin to us.  If we point out a sin that God has said is a sin, we are not judging, but loving that person!  If we did not love the person, then we would not tell him, it is a sin.  So, because the church has become to PC and weak, we are becoming an Apostate church, that will reach NO one with the truth, and the world gets worse and worse every day… I hope you think about this.. 

@justadadwhocares, that was the most intelligent thing regarding religion that I have read on this entire blog post. I might be shooting myself in the foot here, but as an Agnostic, religion plays no role in my life whatsoever. I do however believe that much of the bible’s teachings in regards to how to treat people, are good things to learn. Whether you are religious or not, it makes for a better world when people are more tolerant of difference and treat others with kindness and respect regardless of religion, race or sexual orientation. I don’t understand why some people just can’t grasp that. And as for sexual lust being a sin and fornication outside of marriage, why is it that in today’s society it is unacceptable and illegal to have more than one wife but in the bible it was ok to have more than one? Can anyone explain that to me? The bible is full of contradiction and hypocrisy yet the bible is supposed to be what we follow? Seems to me its a little too complicated to follow something that just doesn’t make sense.

Ok, babies are not born gay, that is just an excuse for society so they can excuse the behavior and try to make it OK.  Sexual immorality in every aspect is a sin.  There is no way that God would create a life that does not have the ability to obey Him.  The bible says we were all created with FREE WILL. The proposition that people are born straight or gay is a direct opposition to the bible.  Please do not let men convince you that God’s Word is wrong.  Weigh all the information you get with what you read in the Word.  When man’s word contradicts God’s then man is wrong, Every time.  I do not think we, as Christians, should judge people, however, God expects us to set ourselves apart from sin. 

I dated many girls because I didn’t know what I wanted to marry. I went the full scale of good girls, christian girls, bad girls, really ugly girls, jewish girls, very stuck-on-themselves girls, shy girls, rich girls, poor girls, girls with social conscience and girls with cotton for brains. What I eventually married was not what I was looking for. She was not “the girl I would want to marry”. So reliance on that adage is bogus. It may work for the Amish or fanatic fundamentalists who can sit on a lump of coal and create a diamond, but God alone helps us choose our mates, not some restrictive principle based on a human interpretation of a highly translated text. Once we finally married and spent some years together as two, we did our part to bring forth one who would make mention of God. And for that, my choice in mates was made clear. 

But it was my wife’s ever growing hatred for others not like herself that caused us to separate and later divorce. My God doesn’t hate, my God doesn’t discriminate. My God would never condemn another person. My God would encourage me to teach my son to love everyone, learn about everything, make his own mistakes or successes and when all was said and done welcome him back into my arms no matter what. My wife’s God was brutal, bigotted, hateful and spiteful. She tried to bend my son’s will to that of her own beliefs. She broke him. It was either her way or hell’s way. He lost his faith in God because he felt that his followers were full of previously digested food.My son committed suicide on the 4th of July this past summer. His biggest worry was that because of his choices in life, because of who he was (he was straight, so don’t go there), and because he couldn’t find the “ideal woman” to meet his mother’s strict Christian Fundamental standards that he must be a failure. When he asked for love and support, he was greeted by his mother’s wrath for his straying from God’s way. He developed a severe alcohol problem and faced her indignation that it was his unChristian behaviour that would take his soul. Yet all the encouragement of his dad and showing him that God wasn’t going to give up on him like the Great Dad He is to us all couldn’t overcome the vile nature of my ex’s words and condemnation.

There are those now that condemn my son for his final choice and me for standing beside his choice. Well, to put it politely, those people can just go to the place where they say my son is existing now. God isn’t going to condemn him to an eternity without love anymore than God would want my gay neighbour to suffer. Besides, their yard is the nicest in the entire Christian neighbourhood.

This article was about how we need to support our children, to help guide them, show them respect, show them love. It wasn’t about the side tracked topic of homosexuals and sodomy. It is so easy to throw in other things that a small group of Christians despise because they have nothing else to battle with. It makes them feel superior to the rest of mankind. What it shows is that in their fervor to use the Holy translated texts to prove themselves most righteous they have lost sight of how Jesus instructed us all to love our neighbours more than ourselves.

There is more to raising children than taking care of them without being abusive.  Girls need nurturing in a way that builds their self esteem.  Just like boys need to know how to be strong and without being emotionally disconnected. I know we as parents have more hopes, dreams and expectations than to just keep our kids out of prison.  How about raising children that are kind, respectful, hard-working, ect?

Do mothers not have a role in setting standards and affirming their daughters? Don’t they also have a primary role in helping women understand what it means to be a healthy woman? Or is womanhood only learned from men, and therefore derived meaning?

It is unfortunate that this great post became a launching point into the gay…not gay argument…the lady made a simple and beautiful affirmation of what makes a difference in our sons and daughters and presto chango we have a huge number of comments on the gay…not gay…topic. The power of a parents words and the frustration when a parent encounters other parents who do not share the same value are real and powerful.  The scripture says our words have the power of life and death.  We always found kids gravitating to our house because of how we treated our kids and their friends. and yes I have strong opinions on the other topic but the issue at hand is an encouraging note to lift your kid’s spirit and equip them for life.  Great article…pray for your children and live a Christian lifestyle with them so that they do not see a disconnect.

You nailed it, damnithothere.   I love my little girl and always tell her I’m proud of her and that she’s pretty… but I also tell her that being pretty isn’t important and that not everybody has what we have and that she should be thankful.   Most of these “female advice on how to talk to females” things are all about coddling, complimenting, etc.   I’m okay with those things… but I also believe in building character too.